Clearly, by this title you know the topic we are about to discuss. The thing everyone wants to hear about, from my six year old cousin, to my grandma. Everyone has an opinion. How old should you be to date? Should I kiss dating goodbye? Should I even kiss at all?
I’m going to start with this, I grew up in a girls christian pop group. So, my dating opinions have always been on the DL afraid of mothers who may not agree. Now that I am growing up some (writing this blog at 7am, isn’t that momly?) was the first time I didn’t wince when I gulped down dreadful black coffee. Back to the point.. I feel like I can talk about dating with a little tiny amount of wisdom.
So, heres my personal story. I wasn’t allowed to go on dates until I was 16. But, loophole: They
NEVER said I couldn’t have a boyfriend. My first “boyfriend” was Jordan. Our parents grew up together, therefore, we grew up together. Jordan and I go wayyyyy back, to about four years old. We use to play wedding with his older sister, Jessica, she was always the pastor marrying us, until that memorable day she sneakily moved her hand and we kissed for real. And thats the last time I ever played wedding.
After Jordan, I hopped around and had “boyfriends” all over the place. But they were just my friends in which I enjoyed texting and talking on the phone to until 3am.
I had my first real boyfriend in 8th grade, we dated on and off (with a few relationships in-between) until the middle of our freshman year of college. (Or HIS, freshman year.. I was working 90 hours a week with three jobs. (Little did I know God was preparing me to move to Nashville. THAT is another story for another day.)
Ya know, I enjoyed the relationships I had, they were a lot of fun. But, once we broke up.. My heart had baggage that God didn’t intend for me to carry. No matter how many times my heart was broken, and still to this day.. I give my heart away too quickly, its a flaw Im trying by the grace of God to fix.
There are many things I wish I had known.. So heres the letter I would’ve written myself before I started this cycle of giving my heart away.
First things first… Please don’t get that perm.
Secondly. Despite mom and dad’s rules, you are going to like people, and you’re going to give your heart away. “Dating” “Boyfriend”.. these titles have nothing to do with it.
Everyone is different, no one’s story is the same and you cannot mimic all these dating books. They aren’t really helping you at all, they are sending you on an emotional roller coaster.
So, LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER, and ask her for her story. She actually does know what she is talking about, and she does understand you. When boys try to sweep you off your feet with nice aol messages and texts.. go hang out with a bestfriend instead. And by all means, child.. SLEEP.. Stop texting until 3am just to make sure you can keep a guy’s attention. (Its not working, anyways.) And you’re going to get wrinkles from the lack of rest.
When that one really special someone comes in 8th grade, be his bestfriend. Pray more about this friendship. You may even date still because, you learned a LOT. But I guarantee God would caution you to protect your heart more intentionally. Because that break up is going to put you out for a few years. These decisions you’re making in highschool are infact affecting your future, more than you know. When you are 21 and have a hard time being vulnerable, you are going to wish you took mom’s advice. “Enjoy this time while you are young, and single. Guard your heart. Learn how to be content in the presence of God.”
But if you heed none of this advice what so ever. God will fix you. He always does. He mends each heart break, and He gives your story power to change lives. He is good. You aren’t trash. Love yourself and know you are worth more than that guy asking you on a date over texts. You won’t trade anything, because it has made you who you are. You’re not getting married at 19, either.. so quit hoping. You need time to become selfless enough for marriage.
Ps. don’t kiss so many guys when you are 15, gosh. Its getting ridiculous.
Yourself– so don’t be so stubborn and argue with this advice. I know you.