Bittering Passion :
September 1, 2011
First off.. I do know bittering isn’t a word, especially since my computer just changed it to ‘buttering’ four times before I could get it to stay.
Alright, here we go..
In my prayer time I felt like I was being called to move from my hometown.. Later my family all started feeling the same way.
Except there were several things that we needed to finish before we left..We were a little… incredibly nervous. This is the only town any of us have ever lived. My parents were both born here, as well as my siblings and I. But we listened to what God’s next steps would be.
That was two years ago, I’m still in my hometown working in a retail store. (Which I do enjoy, actually.) But I feel displaced and uncomfortable.. This isn’t where I feel like I should be. But, there are a few more things that need to be done before we can move, like our house selling. I understand that God has the power to do them.. Heres the thing.. He hasn’t! Sometimes I get frustrated with Him, and He knows it. I am sure he just chuckles at the silly little plans in my head, His are so much greater.
The reason I stay ‘Bittering Passion’ is sometimes we have such a huge passion for the NEXT step that we become bitter and frustrated with where we are now.
As if this place we are in now is just a waste of time, as we wait on Him.
Thats where I have been for the past few months, unknowingly. My mom decided to reference the story of Joseph being in jail for 7 years when I was expressing my frustration to her. Im sure Joseph wondered when his next step would come, as well.
I’ve been praying unceasingly for God to FINALLY move us..
Then,as usual… The exact scripture that would wreck me a little pops out in my reading ..
James 4:3 “And even when you ask, you don’t receive because your motives are all wrong-you want only what will give you pleasure.”
Oh dear, I thought.. Thats me. I am asking for Him to move us because I’m sick of waiting and I am not comfortable in the situation I am in now. Its almost like I am denying God my time. I really have been wasting it with my bitterness. He will move us when He sees fit. Until then I should be doing all I can to shine here. He still has us here for a reason, and in my waiting and growing bitterness, I haven’t been shining as much as I should.. if at all. Now that I’ve realized this, I feel terrible! I’m trying to make up for lost time.
As I was reading I also came across 1Cor 11:7 which says “Now each one the manifestation of the spirit is given for common good.” .. Common, like everyday good. Which kinda hit me… I should be using my gifts and love for Christ EVERYDAY. Not just on tour or at church… All the time. Amazing , right?
What are your gifts ? How can you use them everyday? God wants to use you.. He doesn’t call the capable, He calls the people who are willing and makes them capable.
Instead of staying bitter, I am doing my best to pray and listen about everyday things. Every hour, even. Christ can use you anywhere at any time.. The question is.. Will you let Him?
*I encourage you.. Think for yourself. Don’t just believe what someone tells you..*